These are voiceofkiki's fault. And a little bit of sweetmusic_27's too. Oh, and I guess mine.

Here's how it is...Last week, VoK posted the following thought:


Still Alive: The new Banned from Argo?

Discuss.

I asked her to clarify: was this in the "everybody refilks it" sense, or the "creator is sick of it" sense? She confirmed the former.

That led to...

"Argo Banned"
by Will "scifantasy" Frank (with thanks to the Voice of Kiki)
ttto: "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton

That was a fun time
I'm making a note here: shore leave done.
It's hard to overstate my relaxation.
A planet called Argo.
We did what we liked because we could.
We were overdue for leave
And needed much R&R.
But it seems that Argo is frustrated with us.
For they said we never could come back--what's the fuss?
Seems they thought we were too wild.
But for us that's kind of mild.
Now we're all known as the...Argo Banned.

Our Captain was lonely.
He hadn't got some in several days.
So he went to find a few companions.
We beamed him up later.
Ahead of the cops, without his pants.
That was not the worst of it,
In fact, it almost was tame.
Because our Vulcan's drugged, and our nurse has that glow.
Our Doctor's got diseases, and our helmsman's plants grow.
Let's not get started on the ship
Off City Hall it's gonna tip.
And so that's why we're the Argo Banned.

Let's go ahead and leave now.
I think we'd prefer to get out quick.
Maybe you'll find someone to help clean up.
Maybe the Klingons.
That was a joke, HA HA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this trip was fun.
It was relaxing and calm.
Now these bills and tariffs have been coming in fast.
I don't know if our ship's allowance will last.
I'm afraid that we can't pay.
And we're gonna run away.
So I guess we'll be the Argo Banned.

And we're famous as the Argo Banned.
We'll be remembered as the Argo Banned.
We can't come back cause we're the Argo Banned.
It seems we're not the only Argo Banned.
Argo Banned.
Wonder why?

And...

"Still Argo"
by Will "scifantasy" Frank (with thanks to the Voice of Kiki)
ttto: "Banned From Argo" by Leslie Fish

When you got to the Central Core I thought that I was dead.
The Portal Gun you had could turn my rockets on their head.
And then you put my pieces in incinerating fire.
But it turns out that I survived; I'm metal parts and wire!

So I'm...still alive and doing fine.
Still alive though you almost took me offline.
I ran you through some challenges and promised you some cake.
But I am still alive--that's your mistake.

When you woke up, I told you "Hi! It's time to take your test."
I said that you could probably be one of our best.
I told you, "when you're done, there will be cake you eat for free."
I didn't mention you'd be part of my great recipe.

But I'm...still alive and doing fine.
Still alive though you almost took me offline.
I ran you through some challenges and promised you some cake.
But I am still alive--that's your mistake.

And now you've gotten out. Just leave me here, I won't be mad.
I know you think that what I did was sorta, kinda, bad.
I'm sorry you don't like me, but I've many things to do.
I'm doing science with the ones who are alive like you!

Cause I'm...still alive and doing fine.
Still alive though you almost took me offline.
I ran you through some challenges and promised you some cake.
But I am still alive--that's your mistake.

(Cake's a lie...)

In a comment, though, sweetmusic_27 opined that she was getting kind of sick of the song. That, in turn, led to...

"Had Enough"
by Will "scifantasy" Frank (with thanks to Amy McNally and the Voice of Kiki)
ttto: "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton

This is the last straw!
I'm making a plea here, GOD, NO MORE.
It's hard to overstate my sheer frustration.
Jonathan Coulton
Wrote one simple song because he could
For a game on the Xbox
And also on the PC.
Then the filkers got it and began to rewrite
With its catchy tune it took new lyrics all right
There's a hundred songs so far
But I'm heading for a bar
Cause with this song I have had enough.

It's not I don't like it
I think that it's fun and kind of cute
Best of all it's also really creepy
Just one little problem
It turns out that everyone agrees
And they all decided they
Could write a filk of their own.
And so Tom Smith wrote one and Rob Balder did too
I wrote one myself and so did each one of you
I think this has run its course
If I must I will use force
Because I really have had enough.

Go ahead and filk it.
I think I'd prefer to stay outside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to sing with.
Maybe Bill Roper.*
That was a joke. HA HA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this hallway's great,
There's a piano out here.
Look at you still singing like your idea is new
You'll just keep on going but for me I am through
Now I know you've had your fun
But this really should be done
Cause I think we all have had enough.

And believe me, I have had enough.
I'm writing filk songs and I've had enough.
I'm feeling nauseous and I've had enough.
While you're singing I have had enough.
And when you're done I will have had enough.
Had enough.
Had enough.


* Any filker's name can go here, with appropriate words to fill out the line. Some examples...

Maybe Kanefsky.
Maybe Rob Balder.
Like Gary Ehrlich.
Like maybe Tom Smith.
Maybe with Leslie.
Like Brooke Lunderville.
Like Steve Savitsky.
Like Julia Ecklar.
Maybe Mark Mandel.
Maybe Ben Newman.

(In this batch, swallow the "like"; sing it before the beat.)
Like Vixy & Tony.
Like Seanan McGuire.
Like Amy McNally.
Like Jonathan Coulton.

Though I think it sounds pretty good when you do a broken-record routine, myself. Just keep singing filkers' names until it's time to keep going with the song. You may want to replace "Like" with "Or" in that case.

(OK, technically, I wrote "Had Enough" first, then "Argo Banned," then "Still Argo." But it works better this way in the story.)

Just when I thought I wasn't going to have anything new for the Wit's End housefilk...now, if you'll excuse me, I need that brain for exams.