On Spoilers, or Spoiler Warning For Pretty Much Anything

[scifantasy]

With the flood of people discussing possible spoilers for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, I started thinking about spoilers in general.

First, some ground comments. The Darkfriends of my acquaintance have a rule about spoilers: Once you get past maybe a year or two tops, it's no longer feasible to protect against them. Certainly not for old material like Citizen Kane. The rule is summed up best by prince_corwin: "Caesar dies. Frodo lives. Christ does both."

Spoilers are often not the whole story anyway...as in the case of Citizen Kane, the spoiler doesn't destroy the movie, because it's often just as much about the process. Babylon 5 mastered this.

That said, there are some movies (or books, or possibly even video games) that have spoilers, now long since past expiration of course, that qualify as Big Deals, or would have when they came out, or are just ones that people pretty much know or know about. Revelations that really change the equation, or are historically significant. I'm curious what some of you think they are. I'll seed the pot with a few of my own; feel free to leave a comment with more.

Ground rule: If it's still spoiler-protected (read "less than a year or two old," unless you'd have to be living under a rock not to know it), don't post it. This is about more "classic" spoilers. If you complain about spoilers, don't do it here, because you're given plenty of warning. Don't piss me off about that either...you will get no sympathy.

The Current List Of Big Spoilers (last updated Saturday July 16 0215 PDT):
Citizen Kane
The Maltese Falcon
Star Wars
The Usual Suspects
Soylent Green
The Sixth Sense
War Of The Worlds
The Crying Game
Final Fantasy VII
Fight Club
Psycho
Harry Potter
Memento
Vertigo
Babylon 5
Spartacus
Escaflowne
The Third Man
Watchmen
Old Yeller
Planet Of The Apes
Primal Fear
Chinatown

(Those are the ones I really consider spoilers, or recognize. There are some that really don't count in my mind [such as, I kid you not, Kefka being crazy in Final Fantasy VI] or whose source material I am completely unfamiliar with that I've not listed here.)


Citizen Kane: Rosebud is his sled.

The Maltese Falcon: The statue's a fake.

Star Wars: "I am your father."

The Usual Suspects: "Verbal" is Keyzer Soze.

Soylent Green: Is people. (credit to jchance)

The Sixth Sense: Bruce Willis is dead. (credit to JC as well)

War Of The Worlds: The Martians die of the common cold.


Any more from the peanut gallery? What spoilers are (or were) big?

Comments

[rincebrain.livejournal.com]

Star Wars: Leia/Luke siblings, you forgot.

There is, of course: "I'm an honest-to-God prince."

Let's not forget Final Fantasy I: Chaos is Garland

Also, Super Mario Bros 2 (US): it was all a dream

Final Fantasy X: Tidus doesn't exist

Final Fantasy VI: Cid dies, Kefka goes nuts, Terra is half Esper, and a few others.

Earthbound: you time travel into the past to prevent pokey from helping to destroy the world with giygas as robots

StarCraft: Kerrigan becomes the queen of the Zerg, comes after you all, Tassadar DIES.

WarCraft: MOST MAIN CHARACTER DIE

Star Trek: DS9: SISKO DIES EXCEPT OH WAIT HE'S NOT TECHNICALLY DEAD WAIT WHAT

Star Trek: TNG: Picard saves humanity by blowing up three versions of his ship O WAIT IT NEVER HAPPENED EXCEPT IT DID AND ONLY HE REMEMBERS IT

Sandman: I'd post it, but I don't know if you've read that far.

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

The Crying Game: She's a he.

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

I've read all of Sandman (and the tenth volume is called The Wake, do I look like an idiot?) but I don't think most of these really qualify, you know. Your FF6 ones are either obvious from go or not necessarily so, the other video games are all small fry, Spaceballs...give me a break. Trek...the same. Sandman...see above.

[stormfeather.livejournal.com]

So does Final Fantasy VII count? Because that holds, hands down, the biggest "Classic spoiler" to my eyes in the Final Fantasy series, and probably in video games, period. (Or at least close to it. Maybe Samus would come close, but that might be a bit to "niche.")

[chaoscheebs.livejournal.com]

Wild Arms 1: Rudy's not human.

Wild Arms 2: Irving's behind the Cocytus. Also, he did his sister.

Sonic Adventure 2: Shadow DIES.

Final Fantasy VII: As does Aeris.

Xenogears: Krelian apparently has no genitals. Citan is working for Solaris.

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

When I wrote "(and video games)" up there, I was thinking specifically about FF7. I think it's probably the only video game that qualifies to be put on the Big List...so in other words, yes, it counts.

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

Like I said above, I'm pretty convinced (even with your evidence) that FF7 is the only video game with a sufficient spoiler.

(Oh, and isn't Citan working in Solaris for Shevat?)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_dahne_/]

I'd like to point out that I'm geeky enough to recognize both references in your icon. (Gotta love Gluttony's voice actor.)

I'm trying to think of anymore besides FF7, but I can't seem to. By the way, Cid only dies if you don't feed him the delicious fish. :)

[rincebrain.livejournal.com]

I know that, but I fed him consistently delicious fish, and he always died, so he dies for me. :P

[rincebrain.livejournal.com]

I doubt FF7 is the only game with a sufficient spoiler.

I'll come up with one, wait and see.

[rincebrain.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. All of them are minor or obvious.

Reading Sandman continuously (let's say, month to month, when it was serialized), you so knew Dream was going to die from the get-go.

I don't think that it's that most of them are minor or obvious so much as it is that most of them don't have such an impact on you, the player.

In that vein...
Trogdor: YOU DIE ANYWAY

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Here via fanthropology.

Fight Club: Tyler and the narrator are the same person. (I think all of Palahniuk's books have really good twists that I wouldn't have wanted to be spoiled on, but Fight Club is the only one that's sort of collective consciousness, because of the film.)

[eibii.livejournal.com]

I don't actually know if this counts - it probably doesn't, as the whole point of it is to be spoiled, seeing as how it's nearly thirty years old - Rose of Versailles. Seeing as how a few of the cast were prominent real-life aristocratic figures during the French Revolution, you know they're gonna die right off the bat - and even the narration in the comics and anime immediately acknowledges it for the sake of creating tragic character development.

But it seems to be pretty much the initiation in fandom, in that you talk openly about how the main characters (fictional) also die horrible and tragically in the finale as well, even if you haven't seen it. (In fact, the last episodes were just released on bittorrent with this as the main advertisement!)

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

You should know that I'd just decided to go to bed when I got an IM on my phone (my computer was sleeping) saying someone had remembered Fight Club, and I judged it sufficiently important to come back and update the list.

[eibii.livejournal.com]

On the subject of Xenogears, Fei = Id was pretty blatant, but deliberately so. Wiseman... a bit more interesting than the, "Fei, *I* am your father" trope I was expecting them to trot out of the stables. More like, "Fei, *I* am... posessing your father. But I'm really *you* from a past incarnation, gone old and psycho and soulless! Whee! *splodey*"

The one that I accidentally spoilt for myself, that really seemed to detract from the unveiling, though, for even what little it did since it was already End Game? Miang. GAH. *headdesk* Definitely an interesting chunk, though thrown out a bit too late to do anything other than "Whoa" and explain why Fei's mom was such a bitch.

And yes, Citan was a double-agent for Shevat - the Solarian feint was orchestrated, I thought, to upset Fei enough to learn about Id.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Here from metaquotes

I was amazed when people were quite upset about Titanic spoilers a few years ago.

Um, duh. The Boat Sinks.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Psycho: it's not his mother! Mother's DEEEAAAAADDDDD!!!

[miunafiel.livejournal.com]

i'm actually amazed it took so long... the moment i read your post (which was obviously just now, as i am commenting late), i thought of fight club... maybe cause i just saw it for the first time uhm... during reading days. was shocked. makes the second viewing interesting, but would have ruined the first viewing if i had known. =P

[miunafiel.livejournal.com]

hehe!

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Here via metaquotes.

In The Name of the Rose, the pages are poisoned.

Bambi's mother dies.

The Fifth Element is rumoured to be lurrrve.

In Last Night, the world ends.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

FFX: Auron is an Unsent. (OK, maybe not a huge spoiler, but it knocked me over.)

[divabat.livejournal.com]

There's actually a website that deals with this sort of thing. Let me look it up and I'll get back to you.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorceror's Stone - Professor Quirrel is Voldemort's helper; Snape is innocent.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Ginny was used by Tom to attack and vandalize Hogwarts. Lockhart is a fraud. (though that's kinda obvious)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Sirius is innocent, and he is also Harry's godfather. Peter Pettigrew is the traitor. Remus Lupin is a werewolf. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were friends of James's, Harry's dad.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Cedric dies. (I think someone else dies too but I can't remember who) Professor Moody is really Barty Crouch Jr and it was he that put Harry's name in the goblet.

Harry Potter and the Order Of The Phoenix - Sirius dies. That's about 2 years already, but people are still touchy about it. (and I think this is the most memorable spoiler from the HP series so far.)

Memento was pretty mindboggling. Sammy Jenkins was actually a con artist. It was Leonard who killed his wife with insulin injections. The supposed "killer" had already been killed; Natalie was using Leonard to get back at Jimmy Grantz, a drug dealer (and her ex, I think) by manipulating his weakness. Leonard willingly chooses to forget Teddy's murder, and goes out in a search for another JG.

Vertigo - Judy Barton was hired to act as Madeline; the real Madeline had already been "dealt with" (killed?) by the husband.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

DS9: Sisko is God because his mum's God except not really. And Gowron's the Changeling, omg.

Also? "IT'S A FAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

[lily-shrike.livejournal.com]

A girl in my Literature class got really pissed at me for spoiling Evita by saying that Eva Peron dies. Mind you, this girl was Argentinian and constantly bragging about knowing everything about her homeland.