23 February 2008 @ 11:26 am
"Listen, Girls," or War Correspondence
It's like this. [livejournal.com profile] cadhla is a good friend of [livejournal.com profile] vixyish , and one day, Vixy gave Seanan an idea--which became the song Oh, Michelle. Yesterday, [livejournal.com profile] hsifyppah raised the stakes by challenging Seanan with Dammit, Seanan. Seanan fired back at Brooke with Oh, Brooke, and Brooke backed off, pleading Oh, Seanan M. Watching from the sidelines, [livejournal.com profile] tisonlyherself weighed in with Clever Brooke.

My turn.

"Listen, Girls"
by Will "scifantasy" Frank
ttto: "Oh, Michelle" by Seanan McGuire
Choruses from: "Oh, Michelle" by Seanan McGuire, "Dammit, Seanan" by Brooke Lunderville, "Oh, Brooke" by Seanan McGuire, "Oh, Seanan M" by Brooke Lunderville, and "Clever Brooke" by Dagain Revdatter.

Oh, Michelle, what the hell
Were you thinkin' -- were you drinkin'?
Did you really not believe things could go so, so wrong?
Oh, Michelle, how the hell
Can I tell your friends what happened?
I can barely scratch the surface in this song.

Now, Michelle, AKA Vixy, has a friend who's kinda tricksy
And one day she fed this tricksy friend a giant opening line
In not too long there was a song about how what Vixy did was wrong
But it was lighthearted and funny, so I thought that things were fine

It said Vixy brought the UFOs or else read from the Necrono-
Micon and summoned demons from the outer nether void
In a dozen other ways she acted out horror cliches
But then another friend of Vixy's heard the song and got annoyed.

(Well, not really annoyed...)

Damnit, Seanan, now you've gone and
Sullied poor Michelle's good name
By declaring she's to blame for all these mysteries unsolved
When evil strikes you're right beside her
A little too prepared to chide her
A suspicious man might think you were involved

Now dear Seanan was the one who started having all the fun
With her song 'bout how miss Vixy was to blame for all that stuff
But let's just say that we're not sure that Seanan's motives were so pure
She had some circumstantial evidence but that was not enough

Seanan's quite a dangerous lady with a past that's kinda shady
And a history of violence and plagues and the undead
Pretty soon we had to wonder if blaming Vixy was a blunder
Had we been too quick to blame her? Was it Seanan's fault instead?

(In hindsight, it's obvious.)

Oh, Brooke don't think you're off the hook
Because you point the finger,
Honey, best be smart -- don't linger,
'Cause I mean to do you harm.
Oh, Brooke best take a second look
At what you say about me,
'Cause the folks that choose to doubt me
Often seem to buy the farm.

Brooke was the first of us to think that Seanan might be our fink
So she accused her in a song and put her right on the defense
At first I wasn't convinced but I have spoken to them since
And I do have to admit it makes a large amount of sense

Then Seanan wrote a song right back to answer Brooke's lyric attack
She said that yes, it was her doing, she took the credit for it all
And she warned Brooke to take care, and said that it was only fair
To say that those who would oppose her set themselves up for a fall.

(Beating the rush, I suppose.)

Oh Seanan M, please don't condemn me
To a premature demise - you know that being drawn and quartered always
makes me wince
Ms. McGuire, don't light that pyre - persuasive fire's not required
See, I've even wiped your chainsaw free of prints.

Crossing Seanan isn't smart; she's serious about her art
And she don't go straight for the heart, no, she saves it for last
When Brooke heard Seanan's admission to the melodic suspicion
Brooke got frightened, had a "change of mind," and simply let things pass.

So Brooke was apologetic, but I couldn't just forget it
And it seems that I was not the only one who felt that way
It was Dagain who couldn't entertain the notion of this ending
So she wrote another song because she just wanted to say...

(Oh, great. Escalation.)

Clever Brooke, please don't stomp on me
I admire you so greatly - I met you at Conflikt and I haven't seen you since
Please Ms Brooke, it's by the book, just take a look at what I took,
See, I've even used your rhyme scheme in a pinch.

It seems Dagain was quite amused by how Brooke suddenly excused
Seanan's behavior, and she thought that Brooke was being far too nice
Though I'm not quite sure I got it, it's not a problem, just a thought
Because I only had the chance to read hers twice.

This war's been building for a day, and really, all that I can say
Is that I hope that pretty soon you'll all reach a detente
But even if you should find peace, oh, just don't stop writing, please
Your fans will tell you that more songs are what they want.

(Trust me.)

Listen, girls, I think the world
Almost can't handle all this genius
What was once a simple pleasure
Has become a filking war
But as for me, don't you see
I am smiling with glee
And I am sitting here and waiting for some more.

Yes, I'm sitting here and waiting for some more.
Soundtrack: Take your pick...
Velocity: amused
( Post a new comment )
Shawna: Me-Kaylee[personal profile] sheistheweather on February 23rd, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
BWAH-HA-HA-HA, I love it!
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Technoshaman[identity profile] technoshaman.livejournal.com on February 24th, 2008 01:21 am (UTC)
*LOL* me, too.... and now we've got [livejournal.com profile] kendaer into the act...
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[identity profile] kendaer.livejournal.com on February 24th, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)
Well to be fair, that started rattling around last night after the first couple of salvos. It just couldn't find it's way into formation until after I had all of the other ones also making me laugh as well so they got credit too :)
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Technoshaman[identity profile] technoshaman.livejournal.com on February 24th, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
..... or blame, as the case may be... :)
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[personal profile] hms42 on February 23rd, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
So... When do we get a recording of it from you?? And has Seanan heard about your shot in this war?
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[identity profile] maverick-weirdo.livejournal.com on February 23rd, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
You fool! Until now it was confined to the West Coast. We were at a safe distance here in the east. Now no place is safe. ;)

I still contend that the proper way to introduce a "break The Seanan" filk is a dead dog circle, where you have lots of witnesses, and Seanan usally forgets her promises of revenge because well, it's Sunday of a con.
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[identity profile] senatorhatty.livejournal.com on March 11th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
Mostly I am freaked out that we were separated by two degrees BEFORE you and David were on TV!
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[identity profile] scifantasy.livejournal.com on March 11th, 2008 02:59 am (UTC)
Er, what two degrees would those be?
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[identity profile] senatorhatty.livejournal.com on April 11th, 2008 06:50 pm (UTC)
You're friends with [livejournal.com profile] cadhla, who is friends with 8 or so persons on my friends list.
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[identity profile] scifantasy.livejournal.com on April 11th, 2008 06:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, that type of two-degrees. OK.
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[identity profile] jackiejlh.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
Sorry to bother you here, but I needed to ask you a question and didn't see any other way to contact you on your profile... So, ages and ages ago I started a Mina fic, and then before I could finish it, I moved, started an extremely time-consuming job, etc, and never had time to complete the story. Now I have, and it's with beta. However, there is one instance where the mention of Case's name would be perfect, and I was hoping I might be able to get your permission to do that. He's not actually in the story, just his name would be mentioned... Would that be okay with you? If not, that's perfectly fine. :D

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[identity profile] scifantasy.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2008 01:53 pm (UTC)
I certainly don't mind in principle. I'd like to see it, though, just to know the context--who says it and to whom. It's probably fine, mind you.
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[identity profile] scifantasy.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2008 02:12 pm (UTC)
...it would help if you know how to reach me, eh? wmfrank @ stwing . org
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[identity profile] jackiejlh.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
Okay, no problem. I'm at work right now but will send that bit over to you when I get home or on my lunch break, as soon as I have access to my home pc again. Thanks!!
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